Oh Millie, We Hardly Knew Ye…

Hi there, guys and dolls! It’s Workday Wednesday and time for another almost completely true tale from my fictional workplace. Today’s adventure is all about Millie. At least I think that’s what her name is, to be honest, she came and went so fast, we hardly knew her. It’s a hard world in that concrete jungle and a girl’s got to know how to handle herself (and her liquor) as poor, sweet whatever her name is.

Millie in the morning.

The day started out swell for our new girl. She showed up early, before the rest of us, all bright and eager. We wanted to dislike her for that alone, but she was truly nice, annoyingly so that we couldn’t stay envious for that long. Even when we heaped all kinds of ridiculous requests and old incomplete forms on her, she just took it on with a sturdy smile and plowed her way through the paperwork. What a trooper!

Red and Millie. Notice how martinis can be made in paper cups?

I think the moment it all went wrong was when Steve (or Rascally Red as we affectionately call him) asked her into his office for some ‘dictation.’ Well, you should have heard the chatter that floated through the secretarial pool! What a bunch of magpies. We knew what was coming, having all been there and survived to tell the tale! See, Red loves his martinis and also loves to socialize, especially with the new girls. It’s sort of like our office’s welcome wagon, actually more like off the wagon, but it’s a good way to see how well the newbie will fit with the social climate she has chosen to venture into. Now don’t get me wrong, Red’s only part lecherous, there’s still some gentlemanly manners left in the boy, I’ve never heard any girl complain, in fact, they’re usually lined up around the corner by noon, needing to ‘discuss some urgent matter’ with him. Eh, makes the day go faster.

Millie, taking a break between her showstopping show tune performance

Anyhoo, Millie unfortunately appeared to be a good girl. I don’t know, maybe raised in a good, God fearing home or the temperance league, but she was obviously not used to the mid-morning martini meetings that Red conducts. After an hour or two, with all of us taking turns listening at the door and reporting music, clinking glasses, giggles and some too quiet silences, out poured Millie, hair disheveled, not a trace of lipstick left on her face and grinning languorously. Red however was raring to go, in top form. Actually dictated three letters, attended a productive meeting and got things done. He worked better half-corked, as opposed to dear Millie, who then found the nearest desk, lied down on the floor, singing show tunes at the top of her lungs. By the time she got to the chorus of ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ for the umpteenth time, we got her on her feet, popped her into her coat and hat, took her downstairs and loaded her into a cab, using the address we found in her purse. Hope that was correct, haven’t seen her since.

As I’ve said, the corporate world’s a tough place. A girl’s got to know how to conduct herself with the proper etiquette for the times. That’s why a regular program of the three martini lunch is as much an asset as keeping up your dictation speed. Trust me, even though I’m not really sure what my company does, I’ve learned the ropes and have been there a long time.

So long, Millie. You seemed nice. Why not try again when you’ve developed that hollow leg ;-)?

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already.

Toodles, Barbara Jean

About Barbara Jean Coast

Barbara Jean Coast is the pen name of authors Andrea Taylor and Heather Shkuratoff. She is currently hard at work telling the cozy tales of the fictional town of Santa Lucia, loosely based on Santa Barbara in the late 50's, early 60's, known as The Poppy Cove Mysteries.
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