That Ding-Dong is Not Avon Calling

Hi there, guys and dolls! Don’t we all like to look pretty? And what’s more fun than getting together with a bunch of your friends and having an expert glamorize all the girls at once? Well, with my bunch, I think there may be other things that I might rather do, like go out on the town with my friend Biff or quite frankly get a root canal given how catty this bunch of vipers can be, but I’ll keep it moderately chummy…

The Avon Lady. Go ahead, let her in. She’s got the good stuff. Not Milly.

Anyhoo, this recent gathering was for a home party of one of my nearest and dearest gal pals, Laura. (That is, we have different taste in men, so we tend not to poach dates from each other, well, not often. In other words, we can exist in the same dating circuit and therefore, may remain on good terms. It’s tricky out there…) Now, I love Laura, but she has been known to be rather, er, frugal. Okay chintzy, cheap, a tightwad. Now while others have been welcoming the Avon lady, all professional and cheery into their homes, Laura went for the thrifty option. A woman by the name of Milly, who runs her own outfit called “Milly’s Makeover Magic.”

I said I’d go. Even though Laura was too “economical” (her word, not mine) to provide food and refreshments, it doesn’t stop the others from bringing a little nosh and liquid to the gatherings. And because of Laura’s discount ways, the others tend to go all out and show her up. There was the good vodkas, imported gins, wines with labels I have no clue how to pronounce and the tiniest, most delicate finger sandwiches, puffy pastries and fancy cakes to make up for the lacking hospitality. This social set was never one to pass up the opportunity to outdo each other, except of course for Laura. She just filled up her fridge with stacks of food for later when no one was looking (I saw it). Maybe she’s the savviest one of the group after all, hmm…

Laura’s mother and aunts looked as disapproving as this…

She had quite the gathering, including her mother who brought along her two sisters. They sat in the corner, sniping and griping, filling their purses with all the food and liquor they could handle (now I see where Laura gets it from ;-)).

It took a while to get the sales pitch started, but after the bottles were drained and we had Jimmy the grocery delivery boy bring an extra supply of bottles in, Milly had her makeover models (guinea pigs) nestled (forced) into their chairs. I was not one of them, no way. Not this time, I wanted to watch, not be the show.

So ding-dong, Milly shows up with this big tackle box full of these lotions, potions, lipstick tubes and magical powders she guarantees will make us all irresistible to any and every man we encounter. We started pawing through her goods. They smelled kind of weird, off, like something that had died at the barnyard or from some other planet. And wow, what colors! I now know where the wicked witch got her green glow from. It had to be some Milly’s Miracle Milk Mask, to be sure.

I don’t think anyone bought the shampoo. At least, I hope not…

All in all, it wasn’t all bad. Some lessons were learned. For instance, Milly learned that liquor should not be consumed near any of the face powders (the explosions were at least small) and Laura discovered that the rash from the vanishing cream should disappear in about 4 – 6 weeks. I learned that sometimes it’s best to be a spectator, not a participator in some of this life’s games!

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already.

Toodles, Barbara Jean

About Barbara Jean Coast

Barbara Jean Coast is the pen name of authors Andrea Taylor and Heather Shkuratoff. She is currently hard at work telling the cozy tales of the fictional town of Santa Lucia, loosely based on Santa Barbara in the late 50's, early 60's, known as The Poppy Cove Mysteries.
This entry was posted in 1950's fun, 1950's, 1950s fun, 1950s glamour, 50's housewife, Alter Ego, Beauty, beauty disasters, Beauty Treatments, blogaday, Blogs, Characters, cocktail culture, cosmetics, creative writing, Creativity, daily blog, diary, Domestic life, entertainment, Fiction, Fictional Characters, flash fiction, Historical, historical fiction, house party, Humor, journal, Ladies Night, model, Nostalgia, Parties, Pop Culture, postaday, Retro, short story, Socializing, stories, suburbia, Uncategorized, Vintage, vintage fashion and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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