Help is Here for the Holidays

Hi there guys and dolls! This week I have some fretful friends in need of some Christmas crisis relief. Are you in holiday hot water? Send me a note, there’s still time for me to get you back on Santa’s nice list, unless you want to be naughty, I can give you some good tips for that, too!

Dear Barbara Jean,

No one wants to see this ad lying around as a hint…

Last year my husband bought me a new broom and dustpan for Christmas, so this year I left my magazine open on his chair, side of the bed and at the breakfast table turned to an ad for Evening in Paris perfume. This morning I noticed that he had turned the page to the vacuum cleaner ad and left it at my spot at the table when he left for work. What do you think that means?

Done and Dusted Darlene in Des Moines

Dear Darlene,

First of all, I’m a little shocked you stayed with him for another year after that smooth move. He must be good for something, I guess. Anyhoo, without continuing to cuss him in my head, I gave your situation some thought. My guess is that you may in fact be getting that vacuum cleaner. So this is what you do. Go out and get that perfume yourself, wrap it up and put it under the tree as a present to you from a secret Santa. Be sure to gush appropriately and then immediately rush from the room and pretend to make a lovey dovey phone call. If that doesn’t clog up the new Hoover, nothing will. Now, the next step is up to you. If he gets all flustery and turns into a real he-man, ‘fess up and you may have the most romantic holiday season ever (get my drift), or if he acts like nothing’s a miss, take that broom and dustpan and sweep him out to the curb, temporarily or permanently.

Have fun cleaning house, Barbara Jean

Dear Barbara Jean,

That kid can carry water, but not a tune…

Our church has a great Christmas pageant, complete with a chorus of little darling angels every year. The problem is the new girl in the neighborhood who joined the choir can’t sing, she basically just yells and belts out this terrible caterwauling. It is frightening the little ones, gets the nearby dogs yelping and has actually shattered a stained glass window pane. The minister has left it up to me as pageant director to deal with the situation. I tried to get her a different part, a non-singing one and her mother insists on her being in the choir. What do I do?

Frazzled Fran in Fresno

Dear Fran,

I understand your situation. It’s a church, you need to be charitable and let everyone take part and do their best. It ain’t Hollywood, it’s the local crowd. Talk to the minister and since he’s copping out and leaving you to deal with it, tell him to cough up out of the church funds for earplugs for the congregation. Have the ushers hand them out with the programs and tell everyone to place them in their ears when the new girl starts whaling. Let the dogs sing along and make snowflake patterns on the stained glass out of masking tape to help keep them in place. Don’t know if it’ll work, but it’ll at least look festive.

Stay tuned through the holidays, Barbara Jean

Keep your letters coming! I love to help or hinder any way I can. 

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean

About Barbara Jean Coast

Barbara Jean Coast is the pen name of authors Andrea Taylor and Heather Shkuratoff. She is currently hard at work telling the cozy tales of the fictional town of Santa Lucia, loosely based on Santa Barbara in the late 50's, early 60's, known as The Poppy Cove Mysteries.
This entry was posted in 1950's, 1950's Ads, 1950's California, 1950s fun, 50's housewife, 50's Husband, 50's music, advice, advice column, Alter Ego, Americana, blogaday, Characters, Christmas, christmas pageant, Christmas presents, creative writing, daily blog, diary, dogs, Domestic life, entertainment, Etiquette, Family, family life, Fictional Characters, flash fiction, historical fiction, Holidays, home life, household chores, Humor, journal, letters, Marriage, Nostalgia, opinion, Perspective, Pop Culture, postaday, Retro, Self Esteem, Social Mores, suburbia, Uncategorized, Vintage and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.