Hi there, guys and dolls! Big scandal at bridge night and just in time for the holidays, too. Such a shame. Oh well, least it gives some pep to bridge night.
It all started when Old Frank volunteered to be the weekend Santa at the department store. Good fit, though, he had the belly for it (apparently beer’s good for something…). Could you just imagine? All those squalling, greedy kids all lining up to whine in your ear and pee on your lap… Anyhoo, good thing Christmas only comes once a year.
Mabel, Frank’s wife, got roped into playing Mrs. Claus. He volunteered her as chauffeur and dutiful helper, all dressed in red and acting jolly (she was overheard to say that at least she didn’t have to wear her girdle for a few hours, that’s enough to make a girl giddy).
When Mabel told us last week what they were doing (she told us at bridge), we thought good for them, how neighborly and it brought us all into the Christmas spirit. Turns out it also sent Frank and Mabel to dip into the Christmas spirits (rum, whiskey, gin, etc.) a little early. Apparently, Santa’s village had a flask or two on the shelves (apparently, that’s North Pole tradition to ward off the cold…). Rumor also has it that Santa Frank promised Val and Sal mink coats after the two of them ganged up on him and sat on his lap. This left Mabel not amused. So much so she left him outside the cardboard gingerbread village and took off with Santa’s sleigh (okay, Frank’s Buick).
The police were not as full of the Christmas spirit when they spied Mabel’s attempted getaway that night. They did however give her a ride back home in the squad car, making them in effect two of the most special reindeer of all (say, Rudolph and Blitzen, I guess), looking after Mrs. Claus.
By the time Mabel got home, she had sobered up enough to be plenty mad at Frank and locked him out for the night. Thus starting a new Christmas tradition in our little suburb. We know the season has truly started when the sight of Val, Santa Frank and Sal stroll through the neighborhood, arm in arm on a cold winter’s night.
By bridge night, all was mended. Mabel wiped the floor with Val and Sal. In about ten years, they should owe her enough in bridge losses to have paid for the coats. Frank now has to stay home.
Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already.
Toodles, Barbara Jean