Hi there, guys and dolls! Well, if it isn’t workday Wednesday already. We’ve got another vacancy in my day job (let’s face it, there’s pretty much always an empty spot as someone always does something stupid and gets themselves fired, or just can’t take it anymore…) and I would like to take this time to congratulate all the interviewing candidates wishing to join my fine corporate world. By the way, if one of you actually figures out what my company does, please let me know…

In the meantime, let me provide a cheat sheet of sorts, a helpful informational guide of some questions and answers to negotiate the 1950’s world of big business. I’ve also provided some possible real answers to help you see how you too can overcome some career missteps and cover up your true life agendas from the nosy, pesky eyes of Corporate Big Brother.

Question 1: I see you have left your former employer, Company X. Can you tell me what happened?

Correct Answer: Although it was a fine company and good position, I felt that I needed a greater challenge that your company could provide in the current vacant position and in subsequent advanced placements over time.

Real Answer: I got caught making out with the mail boy for the third time in the supply closet while pilfering cello tape, pens and staples.

Question 2: What assets do you bring to this secretarial position in this company?

Correct Answer: A typing speed of 80 words per minute, excellent dictation and shorthand, a pleasant and professional telephone manner and impeccable filing and organizational skills, all the while being the most supportive gal around (be sure to smile when you sell it…).

Real Answer: What you’ve been staring at all along, big guy. 36-24-36, and I know how to use it.

Question 3: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Correct Answer: Being the best, most efficient secretary to the company president, of course (say it so enthusiastically that they can hear the exclamation point in your voice)!

Real Answer: Buddy, I’m going to either own your company or be your boss and fire your patoot. Or, hook my ladder onto the highest earner in this company, get in the family way, get legally hitched (you may need to sort out your own order of events between those two minor details) and live in luxury on his many, many dimes…

Well, that should do it. Amazing how somethings have changed for most and yet unfortunately stayed the same for some, huh?

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean