Hi there, guys and dolls! Welcome to the ups and downs of Workday Wednesday. Let me introduce you to a man who surely knows how to ride ’em. Heck, he even runs them. Just don’t push his buttons…. yep, you’ll be sorry.

Meet Ned, the elevator operator in my big downtown office tower. He’s one stand up guy and masters his domain. Want to get that memo up to the boss pronto? He’ll express you right to the top! Don’t want to be stuck in the elevator with that Junior Exec with halitosis and dandruff? Oops, that’ll be the next car for you, sonny. I love Ned.

Well, the time has come for Ned to think about undoing his brass buttons – retiring. And who better to take over the illustrious career, but Fred, Ned’s nephew in law. His wife’s sister Bernice’s kid. You know, the one that no one thought would amount to anything. But now he’s really going places. That is, if Ned will let him handle the controls, that is.

Fred’s been training for a week and he is yet to be allowed to touch the floor selectors or come to thing of it, anything in the elevator car. The kid just stands there, grinning and looking all pleased like at Ned and his skills.

That all changed yesterday. Ned handed over temporary command of the position. Fred was in seventh heaven, agog with the responsibility. For fifteen minutes. Ned agreed to take a coffee break, to see how the kid would handle the controls. He slapped Fred on the shoulder and told him, “Son, don’t let anyone push your buttons. Take control of the job and it will take care of you!”

That’s when Etta Mae came in. Such a little minx. She’s the new girl in the steno pool. So sweet and unassuming (in reality, she’s charmed the pants literally off every member of the accounts payable department and has moved her acquisitions onto receivables…). She took one look at Fred, smiled and ran her fingers down all the shiny little buttons on the panel as soon as the elevator doors shut.

Fred was so taken by the homespun hussy that he didn’t even realize what she had done. The bells, whistles, lights, stops and starts of the car on its long and hazardous journey just sounded like the charms of cupid to him. By the time Etta Mae got off at her floor, Fred was wearing her lipstick on his lips and collar, she was wearing his hat and both of them were greeted by a steamed Ned.

Thanks a lot, Fred and Etta Mae. Ever walk down twenty-five flights of stairs? How about up them? Now I can say I have. Ned fired Fred, closed up the elevator for the day (didn’t I say no one was allowed to press his buttons) and took him home by the collar to mommy Bernice.

Think I’ll try the Matterhorn in kitten heels next…

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean