Hi there, guys and dolls! Ever wonder how that cold war got started, what it was really about? Well, look no further – I have the true skinny on what that was honestly all about and it ain’t politics. It happened in my own neighborhood – Val and Sal at it again, with a little competition from May and Mae as well. Let me tell you all about it.

It all started when Val got her alimony settlement rolling in on a regular basis (also the gardener and Sal’s husband Hal also rolling in on a regular basis too, but that’s another story…) and she decided she would spruce up her kitchen, bring it more up to date. And what’s a better way than with some snazzy new fabrics? Who the heck doesn’t want a fridge covered in gingham, stars or what have you? I know! What a spiffy plan! Sigh… with my budget, I could only watch at a distance with a cocktail as the transformation began.

As I said, Val was all keen to have her new stylish kitchen and didn’t she just pore over her catalogs, oohing and aahing over her choices. She settled on a nice red and green plaid. As she said, just think of the boffo impact that’ll have as you walk in the room! And why stop there? Why not a plaid kitchen from top to bottom! Curtains, wallpaper, countertops, linoleum… how special!

So she got right to it. She enlisted May to give her a hand. May then got so inspired she passed on the tip to Mae, who of course, could not be outdone. Then Sal (who’s still hurting over the whole Harold/Hal incident – honestly, she does have a right, being married to that rat of a husband and quite frankly, the whole gang still does think that Val is a hussy, but she chips in for all the potlucks, so we only snipe about her behind her back now) got wind about the mad for plaid kitschy kitchen and launched her own defense, choosing a bright greeny/yellow floral.

Never has there been such fierce kitchen competition (well, not since the bake sale debacle in the fall, anyway). Everyone buzzing back and forth this weekend to see everyone’s new modern kitchens, the women warriors all being kissy-kissy lovey to each other as we all went from one culinary battlefield to the next, visiting and admiring such er, clever handiwork.

By about the fourth kitchen, we were all blinded with pattern fatigue. Patty actually passed out and we had to get her husband to come fetch and carry her home (yeah, I don’t think it was from the visual spectacle, either – more likely the spectacular vodka cocktails along the way…).

Rumor has it that everyone was so exhausted from the kitchen decor crusades that the restaurants did a roaring business that night. Turns out no one likes to cook in all that visual noise.

As for me, I lost my appetite at plaid…

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already.

Toodles, Barbara Jean