Hi there, guys and dolls! How’s your Workday Wednesday? I know, exactly. If you are a secretary like me, then you probably spend most of your day lying for your boss and covering up all of the old dear’s delightful little follies.

Take for instance this example. What it means when you have to say, “I’m sorry, he’s not available right now.” Here are five likely reasons that this is being conveyed to the person on the other end of the receiver.

1. He’s nowhere near the vicinity of the office, most likely out perfecting his golf swing. This excuse is very common on beautiful spring days. Be prepared to be saying it often, on multiple occasions. Try a little variety in the inflections, but be careful not to sound snarky or sarcastic. That is, not until you know who you are talking to, or if you don’t mind losing your job.

2. If he is actually in the building, there is a possibility that a model has arrived for the swimsuit campaign. Obviously, this holds most true for advertising companies, but let’s face it, if any girl shows up in any office in a bathing suit, all of the men are out of commission for the rest of the day….

3. The exec has taken said model out for an all expenses paid lunch. Heck, you may never see him again! And if you do later that day, be prepared to bob and weave as you pass the boozy boss upon his return. That also means that “mighty Casey has struck out” and shall be in a foul mood. Stay clear of that one!

4. He’s actually napping under his desk. Now, some executives will just nap on their office couch or in his desk chair, turned away from the door. However, the serious long term snoozers know the best place is curled up under the desk, making a quiet cubbyhole usually with the accompaniment of a cuddly blankey and/or possibly a teddy bear (bless those lil execs…).

5. The boss has been hauled into the big boss’s office for one or all of the above offenses, and is now being fired. It’s not so much that he did such infractions, but he got caught. In this such scenario, be wary of the evil eye that he may cast your way as he is escorted out the building. This would be why you need to perfect your part of the cover-up routine. No one likes a snitch, but it can be kind of fun to be one, if you can do it effectively. Just sayin’…

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already.

Toodles, Barbara Jean