Turns Out it is Not All About Eve

Hi there, guys and dolls! I trust you had a great weekend. Yours truly certainly did. Let me tell you all about it…

Phone always rings when you’re about to go out the door..

It all started Saturday morning when I was just about to go out the door to run my Saturday errands. You know, get the groceries, take in the dry cleaning, pick up the dry cleaning, get some unsuspecting man to treat me to lunch, that sort of thing. Anyhoo, just as I was to run out the door, Blanche called to invite me to a drinks party that night. She said she was having a few people over, just a casual sort of thing, but she knew knew this rather attractive new co-worker of her husband’s who also just happens to be unattached. She said that she thought of me right away.

Now, I hear that a lot from my married girlfriends and quite frankly, I don’t know what I think of that. Every time they find a single guy they think of me…Does that mean I need pity, that I can’t find my own? That I go through them like water? That I’m a hussy? Oh, like I really care. Handsome man, you say? I’ll go! Come to think of it, that must be why…

So, I get all gussied up – tightest girdle I can squeeze into, a new pink floofy, low cut dress and brand new shiny red lipstick. Black patent heels that make me all toddery and swoony and I’m good to go!

However, by the time I got there, the party seemed a bit of a dud. Blanche met me at the door in a fluster. I followed her in to what appeared to be a hen party. Just a sea of women all looking bored and sniping at each other. I asked her what gives and she then said in one venomous drawl, “Eve,” and gestured with her empty martini glass towards the den, where the raucous din of male chortling could be heard. The visual response from all the clucking hens in tulle and taffeta was one collective grimace and growl. I gave Blanche my purse and stole, took off my gloves and told them not to worry, I’ll handle it.

Don’t worry, Eve won’t hold court for long…

Into the den I sashayed, ready for battle. I paused at the door frame and took in the scene. There in the middle of every man from the party, sat this coquettish little blonde, looking oh so cute and chirpy. And innocent? My eye! I caught the look, danged cat who had so many canaries singing, you’d think spring had arrived early. Blanche then introduced us. Her husband’s second cousin twice removed sent his daughter, just fresh out of high school and into a reputation to come and stay with them. Today. Did her husband tell Blanche the girl was coming? Oh sorry, he was so busy he forgot. (Forgot? Really? More like had he told her she was coming, poor little Evie wouldn’t have been even taken off the train in town, let alone staying there.)

That’s their problem. Back to mine. Now I didn’t really care if Blanche’s husband or the rest of the so-called devoted men were so brutally whisked away on a cloud of youth dewy wonder to this young harlot (of course, don’t tell them that), but I certainly didn’t want to let my own shot at a live one get swooped in on before I had a kick at his can. No siree!

But this required some strategic planning on my part. Now let’s not beat around that bush. We all know that yours truly is a woman of a certain age, shall we say. But with that age comes some wisdom, and that I will happily own (the wrinkles and need for a support garment I will deny to the hilt, but feminine savvy, I claim that for all the years I’ve put in on the dating field).

Before long, I was counterbalancing dim little Evie’s giggle with a throaty, know it all laugh. Her hair flip? No problem, I met it with the long gaze and look away move. Her playful touch on the arm of such a strong man? I did the long, fingertip stroke on the inside of the wrist… After about five such moves, the tables had turned. I was in the center of the room, and pouty Eve was on the phone to mother, begging to come home because no one liked her.

Alan agreed that moonlight becomes me.

I returned the other men to the party, but kept new guy Alan all to myself. On our way to my place, we dropped the third cousin twice removed at the train station heading back home. Bye, Evie!

As for Alan, I got to find out he likes his morning coffee black…

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean

Posted in 1950's, 1950s glamour, 50's Fashions, 50's housewife, 50's Husband, 50's Movies, 50's Slang, Alter Ego, Americana, blogaday, cocktail culture, Conversation, creative writing, Creativity, daily blog, Dating, Dialogue, diary, Domestic life, Drinks, entertainment, Etiquette, family life, Fiction, Fictional Characters, flash fiction, flirting, Historical, historical fiction, Humor, journal, long read, Love, Marriage, neighbors, Nostalgia, Parties, Pop Culture, postaday, Relatives, Retro, Romance, Self Esteem, Social Mores, Socializing, stories, suburbia, Uncategorized, Vintage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Helping to Get Rid of the Little Lows of Life

Hi there, guys and dolls! Ever find that you’re in a dilemma that you just don’t know how to get out of? Never fear, I’m here to offer some smart (okay, actually not that smart, more smartass if you want the truth) suggestions to help you banish some of life’s little lows.

Dear Barbara Jean,

I’m sick and tired of my boss messing up my files. I take great pride in keeping them neat and orderly and all he does is rummage through the cabinet, take out random pages and either never puts them back or just sticks them in whatever folder he pleases. I’ve stayed late so many times that my mother no longer keeps dinner hot for me and just leaves me a sandwich that has gone stale by time I make it home. What do I do?

Filing Felicity in Fernie

Dear Felicity,

Felicity needs to lighten up about her system

I understand that your filing job makes you felicitous (sorry, I couldn’t resist), and I respect the great care you take in your job. As I see it, you have a couple of options – one is that you keep the files under lock and key and only hand out what appropriate papers your boss needs, have him sign for the itemized list and give him the stern stink-eye so he knows you mean business. The other (and my personal favorite) is to just lighten up a little. Who cares? You just work for the company, you don’t own it – if your boss screws it up, make him find what he needs next time. He’s a big boy. And don’t stay late to clean up his mess. Remember – life first, filing second!

Here’s to filing your priorities accurately, Barbara Jean

Dear Barbara Jean,

My mother-in-law’s always dropping in unexpectedly all the time. She says she wants to check up on her boy and make sure I’m looking after him right. Barbara Jean, we’re newlyweds and her constant visits are cramping our style and it’s getting downright frustrating.

Ticked Off Trish in Tarzana

Dear Trish,

Wonder if Trish’s husband looks like this…

Hmm, you live in Tarzana? Well, that’s given me great inspiration for my answer. The next time your mother-in-law just happens to drop by, why don’t you have your husband answer in something a little daring, say a Tarzan loincloth? This will serve a couple of purposes – one, your mother-in-law will see for herself that her ‘boy’ has grown up to be your ‘man’ and hopefully will be appropriately embarrassed and two, you’ll have your young husband in a loincloth. That’s its own reward!

Have a vine swinging time, Barbara Jean

Keep your letters coming! I love to help or hinder any way I can. 

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean

Posted in 1950's, 1950s business, 1950s fun, 1950s glamour, 50's housewife, 50's Husband, advice, advice column, Alter Ego, Americana, blogaday, Careers, Creativity, daily blog, day job, De-stressing, diary, Domestic life, entertainment, Etiquette, Family, family life, home life, Humor, letters, Nostalgia, Office life, Office work, Patience, Pop Culture, postaday, Relatives, Retro, Romance, suburbia, Uncategorized, Vintage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Oh the Romance, Oh the Suspense

Hi there, guys and dolls! One of my favorite days is here. Why, that would be Raves n Faves Thursday, of course. This week I’ve got some great reads by one of the best 20th century authors, Mary Stewart. Now all of Mary’s books are fantabulous; she wrote some great Arthurian Legends and mystical, magical stuff, but I’m going to focus on five of her delightfully fun romantic suspense, because that’s the kind of gal I am. Just click on the cover image or the title link to be taken to the Amazon copies of physical book, kindle and/or audiobook copies. Although the books are not a series, I love to read books in the order that they were published so I ‘m sharing that order with you. Yes, just one of yours truly’s truly wonderful quirks…

Book One

1. MADAM, WILL YOU TALK? – It sounds idyllic: a leisurely drive through the sun-drenched landscape of Provence. But Charity’s dream holiday turns into a nightmare when she becomes embroiled in a sinister plot to kidnap a young boy. She soon finds herself in a deadly pursuit and must uncover who to trust . . . and who to fall for. (First published in 1954.)

Book Two

2. WILDFIRE AT MIDNIGHT – Following a heart-breaking divorce, Gianetta retreats to the Isle of Skye hoping to find tranquillity in the island’s savage beauty. But shortly before her arrival a girl’s body is found on the craggy slopes of the looming Blue Mountain, and with the murderer still on the loose, there’s nothing to stop him from setting his sights on Gianetta next . . (First published in 1956.)

Book Three

3. THUNDER ON THE RIGHT – High in the rugged Pyrenees lies the Valley of the Storms, where a tiny convent clings to the beautiful but lonely mountainside. Jenny Silver arrives seeking her missing cousin, and is devastated when she learns of Gillian’s death following a terrible car accident. But Jenny’s suspicions are aroused when she’s told the blue flowers ornamenting her cousin’s grave were Gillian’s favourite. Jenny knows Gillian was colour-blind – and so starts her mission to uncover what really happened to her. (First published in 1957.)

Book Four

4. NINE COACHES WAITING – Linda Martin understands what is to be lonely: her parents died when she was young, and she was raised in an orphanage. When she is hired as a governess to the orphaned young Philippe, Comte de Valmy, Linda finds a kindred spirit in the lonely little boy. But Philippe is the heir to a vast estate in Savoy, and his dangerously handsome uncle may be willing to kill to ensure that Philippe never inherits it . . . (First published in 1958.)

Book Five

5. MY BROTHER MICHAEL – ‘Nothing ever happens to me…’ So begins Camilla Haven’s letter home during her quiet holiday in Athens. But when a stranger begs her to drive a car to Delphi, swearing that it is a matter of life and death, Camilla impulsively takes the opportunity she’s been offered. Before long she is caught up in a whirlwind of intrigue, deceit and murder as she spins along the dusty Greek roads in a race against time to solve a fourteen-year-old mystery. (First published in 1959.)

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean

Posted in 1950's, 1950s fun, 1950s glamour, 50's Novels, Authors, blogaday, book series, books, Characters, Cozy Mysteries, creative writing, Creativity, daily blog, Dating, e-publishing, ebooks, England, entertainment, Fiction, Fictional Characters, Historical, historical fiction, kindle, Love, murder mystery, Mysteries, Nostalgia, novels, Pop Culture, postaday, Raves and Faves, Readers, Reading, reading, Retro, Romance, romantic suspense, stories, suspense, Uncategorized, Vintage, Writers, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Best Workday Wednesday Ever

Hello, is anybody there?

Hi there, guys and dolls! Did you miss me? Gee, thanks. I missed you, too. For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about (that is, the ones that follow my daily diary), I was AWOL for a couple of days. That nasty ole flu bug played a nasty joke by showing up on the weekend and continued on into the week. But never fear, I am fine and fit as a fiddle for workday Wednesday! (Wait a minute, was I just excited about a workday? Sheesh, I must have been ill…)

Anyhoo, I showed up all bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning, ready to work (that is, catch up on the gossip, see who’s been hired and fired, who’s now the big boss’s new plaything, that sort of stuff), and I arrived to a ghost town. Turns out I wasn’t the only one laid out with the germs (I now blame the mail boy, he kisses everyone). Nobody, not a single person was in the office. Apparently there was a memo that should have gone out to tell everyone not to come in, but there was nobody there to type it or send it out.

Whee! I’m not staying either!

Hmm, so I sat there for a few minutes, listened to the phones ring (I wasn’t going to answer that, after all, no one was in and I’d have to take a message and I didn’t want to do that….), and pretended to shuffle some papers on my desk while I was waiting to see if anyone else would come in. After ten minutes, zip, zilch, nada, nothing. Whee! I threw my papers up in the air and out the door I went.

Now what would I do with myself? Well, lunch, that’s for sure. I was one starving Susie after getting my appetite back, so off to the local swanky restaurant where our company’s big wigs go and took up a corner booth all to myself. Champagne cocktail? Of course! Would I like some caviar and blintzes? Yes! The steak plate with all the trimmings? Bring it on. One after lunch specialty boozy coffee, charge it to the business account (thanks, boss – you really shouldn’t have taught me how to sign all those pesky little forms you couldn’t be bothered with, huh), and then what to do?

I encourage this sort of behavior…

Shopping! Yes, shopping of course. Well, wouldn’t you know, the sickly germs had made their way to the consumer public as well. The stores were practically empty. More room for me (I love being ahead of the curve, yet again). I revelled in it, swanning around the dresses, better dresses and then best dresses departments. Do you know how much fun it is to put on their best dress, some bright white gloves and precious gems and wander around a department store, making almost witty yet dim conversation? I do!

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean

Posted in 1950's, 1950s business, 1950s fun, 1950s glamour, Alter Ego, Americana, Beauty, big business, blogaday, Business Lunch, Careers, Characters, city life, cocktail culture, cocktails, creative writing, Creativity, daily blog, day job, diary, Drinks, entertainment, Fiction, Fictional Characters, flash fiction, Historical, historical fiction, Humor, journal, Nostalgia, Office life, Office work, Pop Culture, postaday, Retro, Uncategorized, Vintage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Well, Somebody is Asking for It

Hi there, guys and dolls! We made it to Friday. Aren’t you proud of yourself? And some other folks we should all be proud of are these two fine folks, knowing that they need help and asking for it. And boy howdy, by asking me for advice, they are truly asking for it, aren’t they?

Dear Barbara Jean,

My husband has just informed me that he thinks we should have a big family, seven (he said SEVEN) children. Now I’m all for raising a family, but I meant one or two children. Not SEVEN. Barbara Jean, I’ve tried talking to him, but his head is in the clouds and he’s over the moon at having a large brood. What am I to do?

Overwhelmed Ophelia in Ohio

Dear Ophelia,

If he has these two space cadets in the crowd, that’s sure to change his desired total…

Yes, my gal pal, that’s a doozy. Of course, a large family sounds lovely for a man who doesn’t have to go through seven rounds of pregnancy and, let’s face it, no matter how modern your man thinks he is, the majority of diaper changes and runny noses. Here’s what you should do. Go to all of your mother friends who have young children in the neighborhood. Tell them to bring their kids over, that your husband would just love to babysit them all while you all go to the city for a little shopping and lunch. I guarantee that by the dessert course (which all of you richly deserve), he will have narrowed down his family planning scheme to your favorite number.

Here’s to fixing your husband, Barbara Jean

Dear Barbara Jean,

I wonder if you don’t mind helping me figure out what my problem is. I am having trouble in the romance department. I can’t seem to get a date. I feel like every time I ask a girl, she takes a good look at me, pauses and either shakes her head or laughs at me. Now I’m a clean cut fellow, I take pride in my appearance, including having my mother inspect me and using her tried and true hair cutting method on me that she had done since I was a child. She thinks I’m very handsome, so that can’t be it. What could it be?

Betty’s Bowl Cut Bob from Bakersfield

Dear Bob,

See Bob, if you go to a professional, you may get one of these spiffy results…

Oh boy, I think we have the problem right there. Mother Betty needs to use the kitchen supplies for something else and leave your head alone. One day, just before mother starts chasing after you with that cereal bowl again, pop into a barber’s and get yourself a grown-up hair cut. On your way home, stop and ask the first girl who strikes your fancy out on a date and see what happens. Then go home and fill all the bowls with candy, cereal, snacks, soup, goldfish, anything, so she can’t turn one over on you and cut your hair.

Always happy to help the lonely, Barbara Jean

Keep your letters coming! I love to help or hinder any way I can. 

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean

Posted in 1950's fun, 1950's, 1950s fun, 1950s glamour, 50's housewife, 50's Husband, advice, advice column, Alter Ego, Americana, beauty disasters, blogaday, Characters, childrearing, Communication, creative writing, Creativity, daily blog, Dating, Domestic life, entertainment, Etiquette, Family, family life, fashion, Hairdressers, Historical, historical fiction, home life, Humor, letters, Marriage, neighbors, Nostalgia, opinion, Perspective, Pop Culture, Relatives, Retro, Romance, Self Esteem, Social Mores, suburbia, Uncategorized, Vintage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rock Hudson, Doris Day Will Chase the Winter Blues Away

Hi there, guys and dolls! Almost everyone everywhere is telling yours truly how the winter blahs are getting them down. Well, never fear, raves n faves Thursday is here! I’ve got a fantastic triple bill suggestion for you to hunker down and make that cold, wet blanket old man winter disappear out of your mind for a little while. Why, just clicking on the title or image to see the trailer happies things up. You’re welcome!

Party lines have never been so much fun!

PILLOW TALK – This delightful comedy sparkles as bickering neighbors discover the joys of the party line. Now isn’t that a fun way to fall in love? Thelma Ritter and Tony Randall round out the movie portraying the great character actors they were. Ah, the good old days…

Let’s have a little clever naughty on the side..

LOVER COME BACK – Oh my! Enter the world of Mad Men advertising full of sex and Vip! This zippy little firecracker of a movie’s bound to have you laughing and curling up your toes in funny, good humored flirtation and delightful innuendo! Big business, science, suggestion and merry mayhem prevails in this great flick!

Oh, those pesky little misunderstandings…

SEND ME NO FLOWERS – Another fun little gem of a movie. Tony Randall needs a special mention; in all of these he is so much fun as their third musketeer in the screen couple’s delightful entanglements. As always, the misunderstandings get a thorough workout and all’s right in the world in the end. Long live romance!

Time to go, I can smell the buttered popcorn from here. Happy movie day, everyone!

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean

Posted in 1950's fun, 1950's, 1950's Ads, 1950s fun, 1950s glamour, 1960's, 1960s movies, 50's housewife, 50's Husband, 50's Movies, 50's music, Alter Ego, Americana, big business, blogaday, Business Lunch, Careers, Characters, city life, Classic Movies, cocktail culture, creative writing, Creativity, daily blog, Dating, diary, Doris Day, entertainment, fashion, Fiction, Fictional Characters, flirting, Hollywood, Humor, journal, Love, Marriage, neighbors, Nostalgia, nosy neighbors, party lines, Pop Culture, postaday, Raves and Faves, Retro, Romance, Social Mores, Socializing, suburbia, telephones, Vintage, vintage fashion, weekend, winter | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Getting you Through your Dream Job Interview, Circa 1950

Hi there, guys and dolls! Well, if it isn’t workday Wednesday already. We’ve got another vacancy in my day job (let’s face it, there’s pretty much always an empty spot as someone always does something stupid and gets themselves fired, or just can’t take it anymore…) and I would like to take this time to congratulate all the interviewing candidates wishing to join my fine corporate world. By the way, if one of you actually figures out what my company does, please let me know…

Our savvy job hunter

In the meantime, let me provide a cheat sheet of sorts, a helpful informational guide of some questions and answers to negotiate the 1950’s world of big business. I’ve also provided some possible real answers to help you see how you too can overcome some career missteps and cover up your true life agendas from the nosy, pesky eyes of Corporate Big Brother.

Question 1: I see you have left your former employer, Company X. Can you tell me what happened?

Correct Answer: Although it was a fine company and good position, I felt that I needed a greater challenge that your company could provide in the current vacant position and in subsequent advanced placements over time.

Real Answer: I got caught making out with the mail boy for the third time in the supply closet while pilfering cello tape, pens and staples.

Question 2: What assets do you bring to this secretarial position in this company?

The moment she knows she’s nailed the boss, er the job…

Correct Answer: A typing speed of 80 words per minute, excellent dictation and shorthand, a pleasant and professional telephone manner and impeccable filing and organizational skills, all the while being the most supportive gal around (be sure to smile when you sell it…).

Real Answer: What you’ve been staring at all along, big guy. 36-24-36, and I know how to use it.

Question 3: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Correct Answer: Being the best, most efficient secretary to the company president, of course (say it so enthusiastically that they can hear the exclamation point in your voice)!

Congratulations! Here’s your immediate future…

Real Answer: Buddy, I’m going to either own your company or be your boss and fire your patoot. Or, hook my ladder onto the highest earner in this company, get in the family way, get legally hitched (you may need to sort out your own order of events between those two minor details) and live in luxury on his many, many dimes…

Well, that should do it. Amazing how somethings have changed for most and yet unfortunately stayed the same for some, huh?

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean

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Bridge Night Buffet from the Fridge of Madge

Hi there, guys and dolls! You know, I usually love Monday Night Bridge. I look forward to it all week. Not for the game of course, but to catch up on who did what to whom, who didn’t do what with whom, and to quelch a bad or start a good one about yours truly. And to eat. Madge, the perennial perfect hostess usually puts out a great spread.

However, not this week. You see, she still had a fridge and cupboard full of holiday leftovers that just should not co-exist on the same plate. Come to think of it, same planet.

Meat, um, something…

We all should have ran for the hills when she brought out the first, um, delectable (not really the right word here, maybe disaster would be better). This, well, thing (meat mountain, tree, tower, horror, I give up…) not only looked off, but had the scent that its better days were long behind it. Not climbing that one…

Fridge cleanout jellied surprise…

It was followed by another miasma of terror, the jelly mold. Now, I’ll be the first one to admit I’ve preserved a few things in aspic (really, who hasn’t), but this one had the appearance of being a really good fridge cleaner. I swear that she had taken all those weird little bits that end up in a heap at the bottom of the crisper. At least it had character…

The oh-so-special banana candles (tee-hee)

Oh, there were plenty of other greatest hits from the fridge of Madge (something pink and in the shape of a fish, I dunno, and a brown um, goo, with bread cubes on the side to mention a few more…), but the end showstopper were these, well, she called them banana candles (I can’t repeat what Val and Sal called them, but I can tell you the both referred to Hal/Hank in the same sentence) and more than one giggle could be heard through the distracted room.

But I will be the first to admit, the bourbon/vodka/whiskey/whisky/gin/whatever any other hooch lying around swamp water punch was pretty popular and downright almost tasty by the third burning gulp.

As I’ve said before, I love Bridge Night….

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean

Posted in 1950's fun, 1950's, 1950s food, 1950s fun, 50's housewife, Alter Ego, Americana, blogaday, Bridge night, Characters, cocktail culture, creative writing, Creativity, daily blog, diary, Domestic life, Drinks, entertainment, Fiction, Fictional Characters, flash fiction, Food, Games, Gossip, Historical, historical fiction, Holiday food, house party, Humor, journal, Ladies Night, long read, Menu, neighbors, Nostalgia, Parties, party food, Pop Culture, postaday, Retro, Socializing, suburbia, Uncategorized, Vintage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I Have Discovered the Joy of Skiing

Hi there, guys and dolls! Winter blues already got you down? Not me, no siree. See, I don’t think it’s ever too early for the first getaway of the year. Pour yourself a hot toddy and read along.

See why I want to take up skiing?

It all started on Friday after work. I was out getting my groceries, thinking what could I do to put a little pep in my step… Then just like magic, I walked by the travel agent’s and came across this little gem. A shirtless hunk of male splendidness, advertising fun in the snow and sun? Count me in.

Next thing I know, I’ve ditched the grocery funds and made a new plan. Skiing! You know, the kind with fresh air, pillowy snow and of course, a handsome snow instructor or two. A quick pack of the overnight case, a train ticket and I’m off.

Now, I don’t ski. Never been on them in my life. Don’t really care that much about the cold, either. Or being damp. Especially damp below freezing. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Oh well, what’s life without a little adventure. Winter clothes? Well, I could use with some. I’ll buy them when I get there. Why, just the thought of a new wardrobe’s warmed the cockles of my heart already.

So, after an uncomfortable night sitting up on the train (who needs a sleeper – I’ll save money for a new darling coat, thank you very much), I pull into this adorable winter resort town.

Did I mention winter? Did I mention resort town? Did I mention that adds up to chilly and highway robbery prices for those darling ensembles? Hmm, needs must and I’ve got some saved up for a rainy (okay snowy).

I must say I got some great finds to bring out my inner snow bunny. I’ll need it to capture my winter wonderman. The competition up here is fierce. Must be the cold, because I’ve seen such a sight as the female slalom to the manly instructor human finish line. I swear that shirtless poster must have gone all around the country. Two, in particular, Judi and Trudi, were notoriously predatory. Rumor around the ski lodge has it that they have an international reputation of poleaxing more than one instructor in every ski resort going. My work was cut out for me, but I was up for the challenge.

Judi and Trudi, internationally aggressive snow bunnies

I don’ compete unless I can win. And when it comes to catching those delightful sporty males, I am a pro (retaining the catch, well, that’s for another story…). So, while they were eying and whizzing down every slope pursuing every male victim, I simply put on my most fetching new outfit, positioned myself in an oh help me, yet flattering appearance that I had just fallen down and gone boom, just in front of the most breathtaking male winter athlete.

How to catch a ski instructor

Turns out he was a true gentleman, and such a charmer. The rest of my weekend was spent in the fine company of Thor, the shirtless model of the ski poster, in front of a roaring log fire with mulled wine at the ready.

As for Judi and Trudi, last I heard they were caught out of bounds in a snowdrift. That’ll teach them to ask me for directions…..

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean

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Some Advice you May Not Want to Take

Hi there, guys and dolls! Would you look at that – the first free advice Friday of the year. And do I have a couple of good questions to share with you today. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

A likeness of sis, irritating Florrie, yet again

Dear Barbara Jean,

My sister is always borrowing my sweaters, even when I ask her not to. She stretches them all out of shape. Her, um, assets, are more generous than mine. It’s not fair. What shall I do?

Flattened Florrie from Flagstaff

Dear Florrie,

Hmm, I’m not sure what to say here. I’m wondering if you’re miffed at your sister for the items she borrows or the fact that she fills out the role as sweater girl more completely? Let’s see – I vote you do those ‘must, must increase my bust’ exercises, stick in some falsies and buy bigger sweaters. Make her feel small and increase your ampleness (I don’t care if it’s not a word, I find it completely appropriate in this situation, so there) all at the same time.

Problem solved, Barbara Jean

Carly, just about to hit the road

Dear Barbara Jean,

My darling husband bought me a new car for Christmas. Now he wants to drive my car, because his car is all dented. Barbara Jean, the reason for the dents is because well, quite frankly, he’s a bad driver. How do I tell him he can’t drive my car?

Caring Carly in Carlsbad

Dear Carly,

Congratulations on your new wheels! He must be a very generous man. However, don’t let that stop you from protecting your new baby from the awkward man. Offer to drive him, saying you’re just enjoying your gift so much! Be subtle, kind, loving, in your approach to keep him from getting behind the wheel. However, if that doesn’t work and he persistently insists on driving, grab your keys and hit the road! Now that you’ve got the wedding ring to hock, set off in your new wheels for some new free-wheeling adventures. Don’t worry, in his beat up car he won’t be able to catch you.

Happy Travels, Barbara Jean

Keep your letters coming! I love to help or hinder any way I can.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more posts. And don’t forget to give my Poppy Cove Mysteries a try if you haven’t already. 

Toodles, Barbara Jean

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